Ignition Permission

We are writers, right? Articulate. Able to express in words deep feelings, moments, characters, stories, concepts. Yeah. Right up until someone asks us where we get our ideas from.

When my first novel was about to come out, the publisher’s publicist rang me to go over some of the questions that the press may ask me. This was my first time round the block so this was all very exciting and I got quite starry eyed and hopeful. This was three weeks before my third radio interview in a row with another radio DJ who had not read my book. Yeah. That’s some quality listening entertainment right there. Anyway… One of the questions I was told to have an answer prepped for was: “Where do you get your ideas?”

Um...

Er...

Told you: articulate.

Traditional art would have us believe that the muses are scantily clad young women who kinda just hang around artists and writers playing harps and smiling encouragingly and this never ever happens to me. Stephen King talks about how his muse shows up, begrudgingly, if he keeps a good writing routine. Letting your muse know where to find you is the best first step and I agree with this approach. It works for me. I get up, have a coffee, a shower, get dressed and go to work like I would any other normal day job.

The other question that popped up a lot, one that I initially wasn’t ready for was “So, how does it feel to be a published writer?” Context reminder: the person asking hasn’t read my book and neither have - nor will - 99.99% of their listeners. And that’s being generous. It's the media obsession though: “How does it feel?” I dunno. Good? Scary? A huge damn relief? “Financially though, that’s gotta be… no? Wait, why are you crying?”

I find it helps to draw. I’ll spend hours drawing when I’m working on a writing project. It centers me; it settles my mind. Someone will say something like “I must have taken ages to both write and illustrate,” and yeah it did but they were both happening at the same time, so there’s that. I wrote this blog while drawing the illustration above. I know writers who do their best writing thinking while playing video games. If it works for you then work it, work it hard. Note: just because it works for someone else doesn’t mean you can use it as an excuse to play Fortnite all day.

The story for my first novel is basically a young guy gets cancer and then runs away with all the charity money raised to save his life. It came to me when I was very unhappy. I wasn’t exactly suicidal, it was more like I wanted to end the life I was living and start a new one. I was married, had a nine-to-five job working in retail, a mortgage and 2.5 cats. I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing, everything society and sitcoms say we are supposed to be doing, but it was making me misserable. I was stuck. There was talk about how come I was still painting, still trying to be an artist, when I was married now and should be a grown up. I didn’t want to die, I felt like I was already dying. I felt a growing sense of helpless panic. I needed to make a significant change. I needed an inciting incident.

I have worked with a lot of screenwriters and artists who have felt the same way. The key questions I ask them are: "Why are you doing what you are doing?" and "What would you enjoy doing?" This then leads to the question: "Why are these two different things?" From there I can start helping them build a plan.

I wanted to burn my life down. I wanted to burn all my bridges and to be standing on them swinging an axe* and yelling with glee as they fell tumbling and flaming into the abyss. And my publisher’s publicists said: “Maybe don’t say that in interviews.”

Turns out thirty isn't too old to quit your job and run off to art school. I found myself broke, divorced, practically homeless and happier than I had been in a long time.

*I own an axe now. It's shiny!